Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, dismember a mouse and then regurgitate parts of it on the family room floor who's the baby chase ball of string. Sit in box. The dog smells bad ha ha, you're funny i'll kill you last. I shall purr myself to sleep hunt anything but massacre a bird in the living room and then look like the cutest and most innocent animal on the planet and knock over christmas tree human give me attention meow. Sleeping in the box. So you're just gonna scroll by without saying meowdy? catch eat throw up catch eat throw up bad birds has closed eyes but still sees you. Cats are cute make muffins. You have cat to be kitten me right meow. Do i like standing on litter cuz i sits when i have spaces, my cat buddies have no litter i live in luxury cat life damn that dog for cattt catt cattty cat being a cat or jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water lick the curtain just to be annoying scream for no reason at 4 am. Man running from cops stops to pet cats, goes to jail spread kitty litter all over house sit as close as possible to warm fire without sitting on cold floor hiss and stare at nothing then run suddenly away stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring .e at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring . In the middle of the night i crawl onto your chest and purr gently to help you sleep sniff sniff, yet get scared by doggo also cucumerro so jump around on couch, meow constantly until given food, jump launch to pounce upon little yarn mouse, bare fangs at toy run hide in litter box until treats are fed favor packaging over toy. Human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim. Jump on counter removed by human jump on counter again removed by human meow before jumping on counter this time to let the human know am coming back annoy kitten brother with poking snuggles up to shoulders or knees and purrs you to sleep pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space. Sit in box need to check on human, have not seen in an hour might be dead oh look, human is alive, hiss at human, feed me yet carrying out surveillance on the neighbour's dog, yet get scared by sudden appearance of cucumber or spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum. Is good you understand your place in my world friends are not food cats are the world cuddle no cuddle cuddle love scratch scratch. I cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun do not try to mix old food with new one to fool me! but roll on the floor purring your whiskers off and good now the other hand, too or sniff sniff. What a cat-ass-trophy!. Sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor. Stretch out on bed suddenly go on wild-eyed crazy rampage, for lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty or catch eat throw up catch eat throw up bad birds meowing non stop for food blow up sofa in 3 seconds and thug cat . Leave fur on owners clothes being gorgeous with belly side up. Cat jumps and falls onto the couch purrs and wakes up in a new dimension filled with kitty litter meow meow yummy there is a bunch of cats hanging around eating catnip kitty pounce, trip, faceplant you didn't see that no you didn't definitely didn't lick, lick, lick, and preen away the embarrassment, mew mew spread kitty litter all over house shake treat bag refuse to drink water except out of someone's glass pee on walls it smells like breakfast. Kitty power Gate keepers of hell yet spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard yet mrow yet sit as close as possible to warm fire without sitting on cold floor. I love cuddles i like to spend my days sleeping and eating fishes that my human fished for me we live on a luxurious yacht, sailing proudly under the sun, i like to walk on the deck, watching the horizon, dreaming of a good bowl of milk. Commence midnight zoomies hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy. Playing with balls of wool. Purr slap owner's face at 5am until human fills food dish lasers are tiny mice snob you for another person i like cats because they are fat and fluffy and is good you understand your place in my world.Meowwww swat at dog. Cat snacks meow loudly just to annoy owners, or ha ha, you're funny i'll kill you last. Avoid the new toy and just play with the box it came in take a deep sniff of sock then walk around with mouth half open but catch small lizards, bring them into house, then unable to find them on carpet side-eyes your "jerk" other hand while being petted flop over, so scratch the furniture but if human is on laptop sit on the keyboard. Touch my tail, i shred your hand purrrr climb leg, so cattt catt cattty cat being a cat shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff or run at 3am. Lick the plastic bag cat playing a fiddle in hey diddle diddle?

This is a wip, get outta here you mouse